


Perception

by Symmetramain



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Edlegard needs help, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symmetramain/pseuds/Symmetramain
Summary: Edelgard finds herself restless once more, ever more plagued by her dreaded nightmares. They widdle down her confidence, her self esteem and state of mind.  the darkness erodes her sanity and she finds herself drowning in despair.Until a certain professor changes her persepctives.





	Perception

Edelgard once more found herself unable to sleep, plagued by her recurring nightmares. It disgusted her really, that she found herself in such a pitiful state every night. Falling asleep for five minutes only to awake from her memories, tears rolling down like a waterfall, spite twisting her heart, helplessness suffocating her. Was she not supposed to be strong, to be the one who people looked up to.

Was she all just a facade, a faker? No more than an actress playing a role? She prided herself on being strong and brave, a true leader. She marched into battle with zero hesitation, she performed brilliantly in combat, her grades were second to none and she was viewed as the perfect successor to the emperor.

But no one knew of her weak side, the side she shoved down forcefully and fought to kill every waking moment. When was the last time she had a good night's rest? The last time she could remember was…

Was when her professor had visited her last week.

Professor Byleth, her favourite professor by far, had been very helpful in her quest to find a good night’s sleep. It was only one night, but one night of pure sleep was something Edelgard hadn’t had in literal years. 

Her professor had a way with getting others to feel comforted and safe, it was an uncanny ability really. It was intriguing, as he was by far the youngest professor, just a few years older than his students, yet he was the most respected and loved by the students. 

The thought of Byleth made Edelgard yearn for a conversation with him. Professor Byleth often shared meals and tea with his students, basically as much as he did with the faculty, and Edelgard was no exception. He hadn’t mentioned anything on her nightmares since she confessed her issue to him a week ago.

A part of her thought that was a mistake. Edelgard saw him as her teacher, a guiding hand in the darkness that was her life, but one day he would be her subject. Could a future empress show weakness to her subjects? Everything in her mind screamed no, but her heart said yes...as long as it was just professor Byleth. For some reason, she was fine with making him the exception.

She could use him right about now. She was tempted to go to him, but at this hour? What was she to do, knock? And when he answered, what would she say? “Hello, professor my nightmares have brought on the verge of tears and I need someone to save me from drowning in my own dark despair, please console me?” 

That was pitiful and totally not fit for an empress. Even if she was to make him the exception she couldn’t just unload all her issues onto him at the drop of a hat. And even if she could, in what universe would that be fair to her teacher? She had seen the mountain of papers he had to go through. He even made a comment about it in his lecture, saying something along the lines of his paperwork being more likely to kill him than actual combat.

Would she deprive him of his sleep when she knew just how precious sleep was? Would she be that selfish?

No, no she would not. She would get out of bed and stroll around the monastery, but she would not bother her professor. Even though it was night time, she dressed in her usual attire in the off chance someone else is out and about.

Edelgard rushes to get out of the dark building as soon as possible. The darkness was all too familiar, and she hated darkness for what sort of thoughts it brought to her. She needed out, now. 

As she got outside, the cold night air shocked her to full alertness, which would probably be bad for sleeping, but she needed this.

As she walked, she tried to think of something, anything other than her nightmares. But there’s only so much you can distract yourself with while also alone. 

Alone, as always. Alone, like how she was when all her siblings died in front of her. She was alone again, as always.

She shouldn’t have been thinking like this, she should not be acting weak. She was Edelgard, next in line for the seat of emperor, she needed to be strong. She knew she had to, but how could she do so whilst alone?

Her travels took her to the training grounds, and her breath caught at what she saw.  
By some twist of fate, with his back turned to his student, was Professor Byleth, practicing with his sword.

And it was incredible. The precise movements, the exact amounts of weight distribution, the flawless grip on his sword, it was all calculated. She could picture his face, his eyes donning that calculating look as he processed and thoroughly broke down everything he needed to consider. His confident and alert expression, mixed in with reassurance any time he felt his students watching.

She could see why he was a professor. It had been obvious when she first saw him fight. He was a master of his craft, truly, and he did indeed have a gift in teaching as well.

Edelgard was shocked out of her trance by the sound of her teacher sheathing his weapon.

As he turned around, Edelgard threw on her usual calm expression, her back stiffened straight as she got into her polite and empress mode she had perfected. However, she always felt as though whenever Byleth looked at her, he could see right through it.

Maybe it was his eyes, he always seemed to be analyzing something with them.

As he saw her, his eyebrows quirked up a little in suspicion.

“Professor, out late again I see,” Edelgard said respectfully. However, if you knew her well enough, you could tell it was more relaxed then how she would have said it had it been to another professor. 

He was different.

“As are you,” Byleth said simply.

“That I am,” She said simply.

“Why is that?” He asked somewhat softly. It was his soft encouraging teacher voice he used when he was trying to slightly push a student to do something difficult. 

“I could ask you the same thing” Edelgard responded quickly. And that was her mistake. She had said the response a fraction too early, too quickly, for it not to be defensive. It was hidden well, but to her professor, it was very clear. 

“Nightmares again?” Byleth asked as his eyes softened, looking at her, not in pity (which she hated) but more with a sense of understanding.

Edelgard sighed.

“Is it truly that obvious?” She asked somewhat meekly. She should be stronger than this, she knows that. But why can’t she?

“I am your professor, after all, It’s my duty to know these things,” He said. 

Was that why he talked with her? drank tea with her, ate with her, comforted her? Because it was his job?

“So you mean to help me because you must?” She asked somewhat hotly. For some reason, the thought of her teacher not being friends with her out of choice but not duty made her heartbreak and shatter. Se didn’t know why.

“Because I must, and because you deserve it,” He said to her as the night’s breeze gently lifted the ends of her hair.

“And of course, because I dislike knowing any of my students and/or friends are in discomfort or danger or in any undesirable state” He confessed. Was that a blush? Perhaps her teacher never really expressed such emotions of friendship before. She wouldn’t put it past him.

“Well, it matters not, I-”

“I believe it matters greatly” he cut her off.

“Not only will this make your studies harder” he continued, “but sleep is also vital to your health,” Byleth said wisely. His teaching side was showing.

“I am aware, professor,” She said simply.

“You are aware yet you think your nightmares do not matter?”

“I didn’t mean like that”

“Then why say it?”

“It’s unimportant”

“That’s twice you have disregarded something important”

“Professor I really think it's of little consequence”

“Thrice now”

“Professor please just let it be”

“Let what be”

“Let ME be!” Edelgard finally said. And by Sothis did she regret it immediately. Byleth stood in front of her, eyes all apologetic as his face turned to that of hurt. Not hurt that she had offended him, but hurt that she was struggling and he was failing to help. And she knew that.

But even with that, he was still analyzing her, still watching, observing, breaking down her walls by simply looking at her. She felt vulnerable, vulnerable but also happy about it, but guilty she was enjoying being seen as weak, and even more guilty that she had shut him down.

“Professor I-”

“No Edlegard, you have every right. I apologize if I stepped out of bounds, forgive me” Byleth said with a bow of his head, and it felt so wrong. She was all for dignity, and her teacher had always been dignified but this was just wrong. 

“I had overstepped, but that is only because it is a trying ordeal to get you to speak with full honesty”

Edelgard was perplexed at this.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“I take you and my other students out for tea or fishing to better know them, not know the shell they put up to hide their full selves. I have heard and assisted in matters with Dorothea’s, in her mind, impossible dreams, or Ferdinand's deep need to prove himself, and those are but a few examples. I enjoy each of my students as both students and friends, close friends even. And to be truthful I had not had very many friends at all before this, but it was and is my belief that friends fully try to help each other. I have been able to get to everyone’s core and try in earnest to help them, all but you”

Edelgard didn’t know what to say to this.

“You are a brilliant student, I doubt I need to say that to you. You are most definitely shaping up to be a great empress, yet even you have skeletons, as you yourself admitted. Yet you keep them locked up tighter than any lock in this monastery. Perhaps because you feel the need to maintain an image, but I would like to tell you that you need not maintain any sort of image with me whatsoever. Is that understood?”

Edelgard couldn’t believe him, how could he know? How was he able to see her, the real her?

“I do”

“Do you? This is not a question in which I am expecting to hear a specific answer, nor do I want you to fasly answer what you deem to be the correct response. You must truly understand that there is no need for you to act any other way but yourself, and that you need not hide anything from me unless it is out of your comfort zone. Do you truly understand?”

To bare herself full to someone, to not hide anything. To not have a need to pretend, could she do that?

Maybe with him.

“I do,” She said firmly, and she meant it.

There was a silence, a silence Edelgard broke as her true emotions started burning through her throat to try and break free to the surface.

“Professor…….I don’t think I am as good of a student and leader you think me to be” She confessed.

Byleth looked both confused and knowing at the same time, a seemingly impossible combo, but he pulled it off.

“How so?” He said, perplexion visible.

“How can I be a good student, when I burden my busy professor with my own worries that stem from my lack of strength? How can I be a good leader when I am brought to tears every night, helpless to try and keep myself composed. How can I be a strong enough leader when mere dreams can best me? If I can barely win the fight against myself, how could I ever win against an actual opponent?” Edelgard confessed it all, image be damned. Was it not the truth? Did her people not deserve to know that their next ruler was to be a weak and unfit emperor?

Silence followed, and Edelgard wondered if maybe she should just apologize and leave. She had already caused him enough trouble.

But then, he spoke in the softest tone she had ever heard, one rivalling her own mothers. 

“Do you remember what I had told Caspar about his form in battle when he told me he thought his form was perfect?” Byleth simply asked.

Edelgard was stunned for a moment, the question came out of nowhere. But she knew the answer, of course she knew, she was oh so good at looking like a good student, remembering everything she could. It was all a facade to hide her weakness.

“You said to him that…..that how one may perceive oneself and their actions is often not an accurate depiction of reality,” She said. Byleth smiled softly and knowingly, as if he expected her to remember.

“Correct as always” He praised. “This idea fits here perfectly. You perceive yourself as a burden to me, as someone wasting my time and sleep, yet this is a direct opposite of reality. In truth, you are always welcome company to me, and I am always glad to return the favour in whichever way I can. You believe you burden me with your troubles, thus distracting me from my work, yet in reality, it is precisely my job to help you with these sorts of things, both as a teacher and friend.”

“You perceive yourself as weak because of your shortcomings, yet in truth you are, both mentally and physically, the strongest student I know. Just, erm, don’t go telling Dimitri I said such things.” Byleth said.

“How could I possibly be strong when I am helpless every night in my own bed!” She exclaimed.

“You are once again perceiving things incorrectly,” Byleth said calmly, but Edelgard did not share his tranquil state at the moment.

“How can you say that! I am not perceiving these events incorrectly, I know for a fact I awake every night in tears, unable to control myself, there is nothing incorrect about my perception of those events!”

“You are simply perceiving the meaning of strength incorrectly once more. Edelgard, The meaning of strength is not being unaffected by any negative situation, or being impervious to negative emotions, that is again a false perception. The meaning of strength is not the absence of feeling negatively, the meaning of strength is simply not letting those feelings get in the way of your goals, duty or otherwise. You aren’t supposed to not feel, you are supposed to continue to act in spite of your negative emotions and feelings” Byleth said, almost as if this was a lecture.

What he was saying was an interesting prospect. But she still failed in this department.

“But do you not see professor, that I let it affect me? I let it impair me, it hinders me, what else would you describe my nights?” She replied.

Byleth smirked. “Oh really, and I suppose it’s all luck that you happen to outshine everyone in battle, how you study the hardest, learn the quickest, always take charge, etcetera? You perform brilliantly in this academy regardless of your internal struggle, and that is true strength, and you have an absolute abundance of it.”

Edelgard was speechless. Could he be correct? Was she simply beating herself up over so many things simply because her perception of power and strength was incorrect?

Of course, he was right, Professor Byleth was always right. She had been a fool all this time.

“Understand?” He said, and a full-blown smile emerged on his face as he tilted his head slightly. It was truly a rare sight, he would smirk or subtly smile, but you had to look hard to see it, but this, this was just a big normal smile, and it was sweet as hell too. 

And it was then, on that night in the training fields, where the moon shone bright and her soul got lost in her teacher’s guidance and brilliant eyes, that Edelgard’s perspective on many things changed. Most of all, her perception of her Professor.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god I’m loving fire emblem three houses. I have been binging the game and I put my other stories on halt to grind this one out in a day. While I would love to make a full fledged fates and awakening fire emblem fanfiction series with an OC, as well as a fire emblem three houses series, I have already started a big project of a naruto fanfic, and have a smash fanfic slowly progressing as well, so those are a ways away.
> 
> I did make a oneshot femal Corrine x takumi fanfic that has a little bit of similarities to this fic, so if you liked this I suggest you read it. 
> 
> Maybe when I finish my naruto and smash fics I can dedicate myself to fire emblem, but that will take some time, so until then it’s just quick oneshots for now.


End file.
